Your love for me is so immense that my slightest twinge of pain touches You. It’s comforting that although I'm hurt more than I feel I can bear, I don’t carry that pain alone. You feel my agony. At last I bring to you not just my pain but this whole mess, to be dealt with Your way. Everything within me seems to rebel, with stirring hatred inside me, but I know hating will not harm him/her even the slightest. I’m tempted to feel a hypocrite because I find it so hard to spit out words of blessing, because of the grudge that I hold. Forgiving is such a tough task, partly because it is so critical to my own emotional and spiritual well-being that the spiritual enemy strongly attacks us on this issue. I face the difficulty forgiving others, therefore I have difficulty forgiving myself, too. These two things tend to go hand in hand.

The decision to forgive is like deciding to break a bad habit. It’s a highly significant moment, but it’s only the beginning of the end. Like other bad habits, the craving for resentment will return and each time you will again need to hand it over to the Lord and deny yourself the self-destructive pleasure of wallowing in the mud of resentment.

Your love overwhelms me. It’s exhilarating to realize that despite hurting so much that I cannot even grasp the magnitude of what I have done, Your love for me is also so vast that it defies my comprehension.

Help me to carry on, give me the strength to move on. Only the Word secures; the life of Hope, and the Hope of life.

Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I've lost.