speechless

what can i say about today. mood screwed up, totally ruined. i really have nothing to say.i really dislike the people around me. they dont seem to respect me at all. they treat me like dogs. they treat me like fools.nobody actually seem to understand me. they think that im real stupid and dumb. so what if i am? today i really did something that i am no supposed to do. Lord, a thousand apologies. i just cannot control my feelings.i did a mistake,i admit.but everything has a limit. do they have to say it until it hurts me so badly? am i being too sensitive? i dont know. but im sort of pissed off today. all i need is just respect. how can i respect someone who doesnt respect me at all? sorry, i cant do it. i treat you with respect and love. but what do i get in return? no respect . saying im stupid, immature and the list goes on. sometimes you say really harsh words . do you know it is really hurtful? humans have feelings. so do I. yeah i know im stupid. these problems are always looking for me. i totally hate it. i wish i can go somewhere without problems chasing after me.

Dear Lord, im really really sad and depressed. why do people dont understand me? why do they have to say it until it hurts so badly? its really painful, Lord. like a knife piercing my heart. all i need is respect. why cant he just respect me? he treats me like a stupid fool. bad-mouthing me. making me feel guilty. i cant bear this anymore, Lord.i know that im in the wrong too. i really dont know what to do. i can only voice out my feelings here. people think that im a happy-go-lucky girl. but the truth is,im not. sometimes i feel really sad in the inside, and i cry. nobody knows that. Lord, please heal the scar in my heart. only You can heal the torment in me. Heavenly Father, i really need you. I need You. forgive me once again. Hold my hand, Jesus. be there with me. wipe my tears away. Lord, i commit myself to you once again. In Jesus's name i pray, Amen..