~chor yat~

today is chor yat. wa lau wehh, so fast. just came back from my family reunion lunch. it was really nice! almost everyody wore the chinese clothings, with bright colours. this is the first time im celebrating CNY without my grandpa. when we were eating my grandma weeped because memories came flashing back. i pity her, because i know it feels to lose your loved one. but im glad that she is over with it. at least she is better right now. i realised that we should not be saddened by death for a long time. life has to go on. how can we live this life with sadness and sorrows? in fact, we should live this life with happiness.

yesterday i realized that smokie has really really grown. i browsed through her baby pictures and i realised that she has really really changed! she has grown, indeed! last time i used to carry her and spin her body. and now, im having a hard time carrying her because she is too heavy for me! when i was bathing smokie i saw a reddish wound on her front leg. i was so worried about her. after drying her body i applied antiseptic cream on her wound. i hope that her wound will heal as soon as possible.

yesterday's steamboat was fun. i was fighting with my friend for meatballs. the meatball fight. wahahaha. sounds so lame!

today was alright. i had breakfast at anuja's before going to church. i ordered ROTI PLANTA and they end up giving me ROTI TELUR. i was like %!&^*^@*@!^, i asked for ROTI PLANTA not ROTI TELUR! i wanted to change but i was running out of time. during praise and worship, many things happened. memories came flashing back into my mind like photos falling from the sky. tears came rolling down on my cheeks. i was touched by the Lord. Amen! i cried out all my problems and sadness to Him. and later, my tears of sadness changed into sadness of joy! Amen! praise the Lord! my river of sadness overflows while my river of joy dries up. but this time, it was the opposite! thank You Lord! after service i chit chatted with my heng tai chi mui(s). talked crap, as usual. i felt a sharp pain at my back. it was painful and i was like holding my stomach. then, my chi mui, radiance massaged my back and i felt much better. the pain comes and go. at that moment my mood changed drastically. im a constant mood swinger. i can laughing right now and the next second i can be crying.

after church we headed to grandma's house for lunch. at that time my stomach was really really painful! the pain was excruciating and agonizing! i prayed to God that He will take the pain away. i sat down on the chair and i felt a little better. i looked so pale, my face was plain white. at one time i couldnt endure the pain anymore. i commanded this, 'in Christ's name, the pain shall go away! right now, in Christ's name!'. to my suprise, the pain went away- super fast! i was filled with gladness! i was so happy! i knew that God was here with me! He was protecting me in his everlasting arms! Amen! i repeated this several times and it worked. my mood changed -again! i became more lively! whahaha. i can really change like a chameleon. =P

this week i'll be bombing at my heng tai chi mui's house. hahahaha. its gonna be real FUN! im really looking forward to it! sigh, i think i have put on 5kgs. i do not know and i dont wanna know! that is my greatest fear of all! i hate to put on weight! i hate being fat! im already so fat and i do not want to grow fatter! i ate so much of fattening food today. i feel so guilty! >.<>

okay okay, my next topic. L-O-V-E. i seriously do not know what to say about this. but yet, i feel like talking about this matter. so weird~! i have been hurt emotionally and i do not want this to happen again! besides, i guess that it is still puppy love. so i do not wanna get myself involved in a relationship. i seriously dunno larr. sometimes i feel that it is right to be in a relationship and sometimes i feel that im still young. and it is only puppy love- a relationship that will not last. being in a relationship is all about trust and honesty. whats a relationship without trust and honesty? WAIT, i wouldnt call it a relationship anyway. probably a game of love. LoL! well, i've been that before. haihz, it is really so suckish. i regretted knowing him in the first place. if i didnt meet him in the first place, these things will not happen. i guess that i should blame myself for this. i realised how stupid and dumb i was! i was like giving in all the time! at that moment i do not know what i am doing! i guess that love made me blind. it blurred my vision. probably i loved him too much, and i was wiling to give in. goshd. this will never ever happen again! i was a small girl before, and now, im no longer one! i know whats right and wrong! anyway this incident has taught me a lesson. i learned from my trials and errors! im glad that it is over~! hehehe. never been loved was better that being loved by a loser! wahahahah. am i right? 8) ~hate me for who i am, rather than to love me for who im not~

hmm.. actually i really enjoy being mean and sarcastic. it is really nasty to be mean. but i enjoy being mean. wahahahah. being too mean can hurt others. so i guess that i should not be mean all the time. muahahaha. for example, famous mean people. simon cowell, paul moss and the chief doctor from the tv sitcom 'scrubs'. these people are really good at being mean! i must learn from them~ im only mean when my mood is screwed up. dont be scared, i aint gonna eat you. ^_^ i apologize if im too mean ya. sorry friends ^.^

okay i gotta go. i have written a long long post. till then. sayonara.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL! MAY THIS BLESSED NEW YEAR FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND JOY! GONG XI FA CAI! 8)