devoid.

I'm sitting right here, in front of my computer, writing my thoughts and feelings on my beloved blog. I haven't been blogging since forever. I apologise to all my loyal readers out there. This week has been an exhausting week. I have got tons of projects and homework to do. I am totally clueless about it, and I do not know where and how to start. It gives me a headache. It really does. With all these pressure and stress around me, I do not know whether I can cope because everything seems so tough and difficult. The problems which I am facing doesn't seem to get any better. It just stays, it doesn't leave me and it bothers me every second. I worry everyday, because I do not know what is ahead of me. I'm not a gypsy woman, who predicts the future by touching the crystal ball. Besides that, I don't believe in that. Sounds silly and featherbrained.

I'm a person devoid of self-esteem and confidence. Apart from that, I'm also a pessimist who often thinks on the negative side. Many people say i worry too much, and I admit that. At times they repeat this matter a hundred and one times, and that is friggin irritating and tedious. Yeah, i worry a lot. Does that bother you? I know I'm not-so-smart after all. Some people enjoy teasing me about my stupidity. When I'm in a good mood, I'll laugh with them and I'll forget about it. But when I'm in an extremely bad mood, they know that doomsday's here, and they can never escape. Well, I don't sound that scary. It is perfectly normal for people to get angry much faster when they are in a bad mood. And then, the gossips spreads around, from mouth to mouth, that you are super hot-tempered/ siu hei (cantonese). I don't really bother much about what people say about me, because the most important thing is to trust and believe yourself. The person whom you can trust most is definitely yourself, and not others. You might think that I'm self-centered. Wait till you experience the unexpected. I have trusted the wrong person, and my secrets weren't secrets anymore. I'm embarassed. I was a fool before, and now I'm not. Since they never treated me as friends, why should I treat them as my best friends? Why should I tell them my secrets? These people are boneheaded. They wanted to know all my secrets, and when i didn't feel like telling them, they put on a long face. And me, being dullard, spilled the beans to them. And i ended up crying at home and blaming myself for being cloddish, because I trusted the wrong person. From now on, I will only have six people on my mind, whom i really really trust. They were there when I needed them. They never abandoned me. Instead, they were there for me all the time. A great shoulder to lean on. I appreciate you guys. Thank you for being such good listeners. We will always be friends. Our friendship is like a circle, never ending, never going to stop. I love you guys so much.

Jesus, thanks for being such a lovely friend. A truely understanding friend. My best friend ever.
Khai Weng, thanks for all the comforting words. You were there for me when my whole world was about to crumble. I love you so much, brother!
Patricia, thanks for lending a hand when i needed help. You were such a good shoulder to lean on. You are such a good friend!
Esther, sorry for what i have done to you in the past. Thank you so much for forgiving me. I didn't expect you to forgive me, and now, I'm glad to have such a caring and affectionate friend. Love you to bits.
Rosabel, thanks for everything. Thanks for all your advices. Each time when I felt like breaking down, you were there to comfort me. Thanks for all the sweet and encouraging words. And also thanks for all the presents you gave me for my birthday(s) since primary school. Hugs!
Vanaja, you are such a patient and outstanding friend. Thank you for all those warm and tender words. You are such a great friend to me. I will always be there for you girl. Love you.

These are my six friends whom I will treasure them forever. I love them deeply from the bottom of my heart. I will be there for them. I truly appreciate you guys. Thank You Lord for giving me such warm-hearted friends. I'm indeed blessed. You guys are the creme de la creme in my heart! Mwakkkkkks! <3