Friendship on the rocks. Feeling all weary in the inside but I'm glad that I have forgiven her. I know, she has a strong intense dislike for me even though she doesn't really show it. Trust me, a woman's instinct is always right. All the bad things that happened to me were indeed hurtful. It left a wound in my heart and it is currently healing. Nevertheless, I'm trying to change but they keep criticizing and condemning me. They say that I'm a chauvinist, yes, I admit. I'm trying to turn into a new leaf and yet, nobody's supporting me and when I give them a point-blank confrontation, they say that I'm still unwilling to change. I feel hurt and depressed as I have to face the harsh reality of this world. I'm willing to change, and I'm trying real hard, but nobody's supporting me. It feels so distressing when the whole world isn't on your side. You are in solitude and nobody is there to listen to your problems. At this crucial point of your life, you feel like hindering yourself from every single thing. They are pushing me to the extend and they keep criticizing me. I'm sick of listening to all the unfavourable judgements and sarcastic remarks. Every word acts like a sharp razor blade that silently cuts and poisons my fragile heart. It's so sickening.. Enough is enough.

At times, they always think that they're right but they're not. And when I tell them so, they say I'm wrong and I'm back to my old ways. Self-centered and a chauvinist. To be frank, I'm tired of thinking of everybody's feelings when they don't even think of mine. I have no choice. Now, I have to be self-dependant because I'm seriously very very tired. I can't bear any longer. Its difficult to build the trust between us. Somehow there will be a gap/distance between us. This incident hurted me real deep, but I'm glad that I'm much closer to God. Its normal for humans to feel sad, and I admit that I'm feeling sad, but soon I'll get over it. Iit's just a matter of time. For someday I'll be back stronger and tougher. =)

Thanks to Andrea for helping me all these while. My one and truly God-sent angel! Ahaks! Hey girl thanks for all the comforting words. You were there when I was about to fall and hit the ground. I've thought about this a thousand times and I finally made a decision. Yupp, I have forgiven her. Even though she doesn't really realise it, but I have already forgiven her. Well, this left a deep impact in my life. All these bad things happened all of a sudden. No, I'm not complaining. God puts me into these kinds of predicaments because He wants me to grow stronger. He wants me to be mature. We learn from trial and errors. I'm glad it is finally over. Yes, I can't expect much from non-believers. Though I don't agree with them sometimes, but I will still treat them like the way I used to. To forgive is to forget. I will not hold any grudges.

After this incident, I have realised that I'm much closer to God. The devil is trying to pull me away from God and I'm fighting the battle. My relationship with God will never drift apart. Tomorrow I'll be attending Calvary's Youth Concert and I really do hope that I'll have an amazing experience. I wanna have fun there and I wanna be touched by the Lord again. It feels good. I so wanna experience it again! By the way, I'm bringing my friend whom I had problems with. Problems aside and I'm hoping that she'll be saved too. Forget all the grudges and pray for the best to happen. I have Faith in the Lord! Everything is possible through Christ! =)

Perhaps I'm OK right now, after spilling the beans. I am always at ease after blurting out everything. I'm currently trying to accept the things I cannot change. If God brings me to it, He will definitely bring us through it. God is faithful forever ; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. He brought the sunshine in, and turned the dark to day and made the shadows flee away. He opened my eyes to a new and living way, the dawning of a brand new day. Amen!

Tomorrow = Salvation! ^^

[ Thank You Jesus for Your love. Thank You for dying on the cross to save us! Thank You for loving me all these while and watching me from heaven all the time. Even though I have failed You many times, but You never failed me. Not even once! You did not leave me alone. You were with me all the time! Thank You for healing me. Thank You so much for everything You have done for us. Thank You for Your blessings! Lastly, thank You for everything! Love ya Jesus! ^^ ]