cause i don't feel like talking.

but i have something to say.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Ooooooh...... :)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

I can't even convince myself and that is probably the main reason why I loathe optimism. Maybe not. I'm just paranoid. Stress is bubbling over me and I can't help but wallow myself in self-pity. Sleep debts are accumulating and I have barely time for myself to read good books, listen to great music, go ga-ga over superficial stuffs or even say, watch the Gunners in action. And when I have the chance to have a short nap of say, 15 minutes, I can really sleep like a dead log without heeding the sound of my super darn loud alarm.

However, picking up the phone when I am semi-conscious is an involuntary action. I do not know what I am talking about when I am groggy, and the most ironic thing is that I can seriously talk to them as if I am in a pure conscious mode. I take 10 minutes to realize that I'm actually having a conversation on the phone, and when I am awake, I forget totally about everything that had just happened. Case of being doomed to oblivion.

Sometimes I wonder why things are like this. Oh well, we're only humans. Wait, I am only human. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PUN INTENDED since I'm talking about myself, only :D

On a random note, I think Smokie looks a whole lot like Marley.


Taken in 2005.

Anyways, U2's No Line On the Horizon album sounds really tempting. I've only tasted a bit of it and it is perfectly sweet for my liking.

.....*exhales* I need coffee, by the way.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, simply because ; the thought of you drifting away from me and at the same time, you're so dearest to me, becomes too significant at a point .

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Your love for me is so immense that my slightest twinge of pain touches You. It’s comforting that although I'm hurt more than I feel I can bear, I don’t carry that pain alone. You feel my agony. At last I bring to you not just my pain but this whole mess, to be dealt with Your way. Everything within me seems to rebel, with stirring hatred inside me, but I know hating will not harm him/her even the slightest. I’m tempted to feel a hypocrite because I find it so hard to spit out words of blessing, because of the grudge that I hold. Forgiving is such a tough task, partly because it is so critical to my own emotional and spiritual well-being that the spiritual enemy strongly attacks us on this issue. I face the difficulty forgiving others, therefore I have difficulty forgiving myself, too. These two things tend to go hand in hand.

The decision to forgive is like deciding to break a bad habit. It’s a highly significant moment, but it’s only the beginning of the end. Like other bad habits, the craving for resentment will return and each time you will again need to hand it over to the Lord and deny yourself the self-destructive pleasure of wallowing in the mud of resentment.

Your love overwhelms me. It’s exhilarating to realize that despite hurting so much that I cannot even grasp the magnitude of what I have done, Your love for me is also so vast that it defies my comprehension.

Help me to carry on, give me the strength to move on. Only the Word secures; the life of Hope, and the Hope of life.

Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I've lost.