cause i don't feel like talking.

but i have something to say.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Thank God it's Friday ;-) I can finally let my hair down for a day or two but I'd still have to complete my presentation, assignments and reports all in one day.

Beware..stupid post ahead. hahahahahahhha

Too many things came crashing on me recently:(

First, a close family friend of mine passed away unexpectedly. I had a few regrets, which I know, I have failed myself. I had cherishing moments with him, and yet I couldn't be there to bid farewell to him. My ignorance had caused me such regrets.

Second, Joanna was diagnosed with a disorder recently. She seemed pretty depressed, hopeless and helpless. I don't want her to leave her in denial and yet I don't want her to face the harsh reality of truth because I know, her tiny heart cannot take it. It could be too painful for her. And I'd hate to see her suffer :(

Third, I got dumped. By Rick. hahahahhha

Fourth, the problem which I have been facing for 4 years. Negative thoughts are flooding again, and I'm trying my best to keep hope alive. HAIHZ.

Lastly, about MJ. I'd always loved him, despite the stupid baseless allegations and also the tabloids. He never once touched those kids. I've got hundreds of facts to prove to you that he's purely innocent. He had a big heart to give to the less fortunate, and the world's just too sick to make use of his humanity for their own cruel and selfish intentions. What a horrid life. His kids were his biggest source of happiness, and yet the media refused to leave them alone. If only, he could have a day of pure happiness, that would be just enough. More than enough. One of the biggest misconception ever about him was that he bleached his skin. He had Vitiligo, for goodness sake. It's a skin disorder where white patches form on your skin and he resorted to going to the dermatologist for skin treatments to even his skin tone. Yet, all fingers are pointed at him. Never ending stream of accusations, malicious lies, fabricated stories and stupid rumours. The world is superficial and gullible for believing such lies. They judged him. Scornfully. And when he died, people became forgiving instead. People tend to be forgiving when there's death. Should I say, death is a wake up call to realize, or perhaps, its only faux forgiveness? I don't know. All MJ wanted was his childhood memories. His childhood memories were robbed. After all, he's still a young boy at heart - yearning of company, and love, like any other beings on earth would wish for. Yet, he smiled because he was hurting. (oxymoron statement. BAH)

That fact saddens me more when I listen to Gone Too Soon, Smile, You Are Not Alone and Man in the Mirror. I grieved, I cried, I weeped a bucket of tears when I was watching the memorial service. And also his concert in Bucharest.

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."

Your tenacity, passion, heart of gold, unsurpassed love is indeed, one in a million. The world may not see it, but I can, and I'll always do.

I need barbiturates lah deng