I need a sugar daddy.

Yes, a sugar daddy to pay off my shopping spree since Christmas is merely around the corner. With SALES everywhere, I find it sooooo difficult to actually sit down and pretend as if nothing happened despite my current financial predicament. I would be really restless, you'd know. Fidgetting, and moaning at the same time. Such a dire situation to be in. I seriously need to go to the pawn shop and sell whatever belongings I have. I am deprived of ca$h. I admit that. Hahaha. With such sweet and yet deadly temptations around, resistance is futile. Day by day I am increasingly feeling like a lazy slug who does nothing but rot.

I'm not a spendthrift, or nor do I flung my money here and there, and I don't spend money like water. But then, I spent kazillions a few weeks ago when I was shopping with Rosabel. Forever 21 has goddess clothes, man. So gotta love the spaghetti strap blouses there. Goodness, gracious me. I don't even understand my actions. My actions are more like a cul de sac, actually. Looks like my mind isn't working well with my heart. Contradiction. Stereotype. I have an overload wardrobe. Frankly, you'd be very much surprised at the sight of my humble abode. With accessories laying here and there, necklaces getting tangled, it is such an eye sore. My wardrobe can no longer fit any more clothes, and I am resorted to stacking up all my new clothes on my chairs and bed.

Typical me.

Christmas is coming soon. Spring cleaning. Well, not exactly. I do spring cleaning on Chinese New Year and Christmas. And household chores are not that difficult after all. Peanuts. But getting my ass to do it is undeniably difficult. Haha. When Christmas is coming, it also marks that November is also coming to an end.

Ah. The sting of nostalgia.

Reminiscing the distinct taste of sweetness, was such a joy to me. Spending quality time with my fellow close-knit jakuns. Those were the times where I had fun as if there was no tomorrow. Literally. I went to Melaka with my jakuns last week. But sadly, I fell sick on the second day. But nonetheless, I had fun. Go-karting, watching movies together, cooking, playing 21. Those are the must-cherish moments. I love my pompuan giler(s) heaps. [Andrea, Jo Yee, Rosabel, Erna, Ashley, Shan] We argue and bicker almost about everything ranging from, err, X-rated stuff to.. you fill the blank. Haha xD

Hah. About school. The mundanity of waking up at 6am for school. Dodging my Maths teacher, making fun of my Biology teacher's verbal skills, ponteng-ing, smuggling food into our classrooms, copying from the child prodigy in lightning speed to hand in our homework/projects, sleeping during Sejarah, running to the canteen as fast as possible to get a bowl of Tom Yam, et cetera. That was about my 2007 school life. I love glancing back at my past, somehow. Such an irony but I sorta miss my school life.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

Enjoy the present :) I live by that!

Yesterday was.. a long one. I was practically wheezing the whole day, and I think I could even make a melody out of it. My chest felt so heavy, and I could hardly breathe. I felt like phlegm was stuck at the walls of my trachea. And my nose was filled with too much of mucus till it overflowed. And I desperately needed someone to suck out all the excess slimey phlegm from my lungs. And at night, I had insomnia. Whenever I lay down on the bed, I felt extra pounds on my chest. Had to depend on Vicks and hot water all the time. Aish. I couldn't sleep at all.

But praise God. I'm well today. Currently recovering at the moment =)

And thankfully, I'm not so broke right now. Hee hee ;)

PS: My mom promised me to get me a dress from The Gardens for Christmas.

There is sweetness in bitterness, after all.

Anyway, I've found him. My newfound sugar daddy is non other than my........ dearest Papa :D

Sometimes I wished I had the guts to just utter a word or two to you. We've been close friends before, and yet, why do I feel so awkward with your presence? I don't know. I have so many things to say, and yet, pride is holding me back, not allowing me to even speak up. I missed the good times, like, seriously. It's not the past that hurts, you know. It's the pain of reminiscing the sweet memories. You helped me to cope with infidelity when I was left in despondency. We used to talk till the wee hours of morning, and now, we do not even acknowledge each other's existence. So, who is to blame? No one, actually. Neither do I want to play the blame game or keep harping on the subject.

After all, we're just.. strangers.

Take a short look at the video. It has a great significance in it. I was moved, really.



Very often we find ourselves in situations like these. Sometimes we're too caught up with the worldly ways - love, money, depression, materialism and the list goes on. This has clouded our vision, and therefore, its difficult to hear and see Him in times of despair. During times of hardship, our faith grows weary, and when we want to reach out to Him, He seems.. so far. Just too far. His hand seems like out of reach. But nevertheless, He still loves us despite of who we are. He doesn't look up on our shortcomings. He cares, for you and me, and He is just... there, protecting you from danger.

>Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

He is there.