Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me quando, quando, quando

Just a random song which is one of my all-time oldie favourites.

And right now, my current cravings, presenting, Dishwalla! Super great rock indie band! Though they're not well-known on MTV or Channel V, but in my opinion I think they should be given publicity and be known because they stand out as musicians, unlike those Taiwanese boybands who plagiarize people's songs, and sing worse than chickadees and dress so faux pas-ly.

Ew.

See, somebody got me rambling again.

And one more, my History teacher is being a hypocritical hen, and just for your information, I use the word hen as as substitute for another word, well, need not say. I bet you know that majestic word.

I absolutely hate it when she spreads lies about us. Lies upon lies. It's tough living on other people's expectations, and what more when those expectations are far within from our reach? We can never please teachers, nor we could please everyone else out there. So, our efforts are actually in vain. We know our limits, we know how far we can go, so please don't load us with more pressure because we are already pressured enough to please ourselves, and what more, others?

Apart from that, I have a friend who treats her like some kind of goddess. He's wiling to be a kuli/slave for her. Stupidity beyond stupidity, to be exact.

I admit, I am profane when I lose my temper. My raging temper. Striking blows of profanity is something which I should not be proud of, duh. After all, I'm merely human. And I'm really striving hard to keep it down.

I keep rambling, again. Hmpf.

And I practically bawled my eyes out last week. Good grief!

Nevermind. I'll be seeing Naomi and Emmanuel tomorrow by the way. It has been awhile =)

.....Arsenal in action right now! Am munching on BigApple donuts at the moment, I think I've sapu-ed half a dozen, but its a fact that I hardly put on weight. Note, hardly.

Even Smokie ate one. LOL.

Anyhoo,
Don't make me bawl my eyes out again, okay?

Ye, chickadees.

I am contradicting myself, so, after all I'm not really on hiatus. Its undeniable that I have a tendency of having my words contradicting my actions at the same time. Not much of a good thing, obviously, because I keep engaging myself in sophistries.

Ack, ack, ack.

I need a kidney rectal extraction, because my back is hurting so badly till I feel like grabbing a hammer to smash my back. Probably a mallet, though. Gasps.

Painkillers, please?

And the reason that's leaving me puzzled, is, that somebody's not being punctual, you get what I mean. The monthly visits, the mood swings, the excessive bloatings and of course, the extreme agony I have to go through each month. Everyday seems to be a dread. Ho-hum.

Stereotype is a mundanity. Bah.

Not much of a kidney extraction, after all. It's more of a.. I leave it to your own imagination.

I bet it's going to be worse tomorrow. Ek. I had hell with Chemistry today, cause I am totally allergic to it. My chemistry marks can suck meatballs. Seriously. Sigh, there's more to come tomorrow, more to suffer.

And I keep yelling profanities when I glance through my papers. Stupid bloopers make me cuss, scream and yell.

Cuss, ye shall not, for a man's tongue is more poisonous that a snake's venom. Bah.

My biology teacher's sandwiching us between loads of homework and exam pressures, and I am indeed succumbing myself to pressure and stress.

Such an idyllic situation. I keep dozing off whenever I force myself to study, I either end up lying on the bed wandering away or glueing my ass in front of the computer as well as the television, watching Astro on Demand.

Bad, bad.

I need to feed my shopping pangs, too.

Study, Joanne. Be a nerd for this year, at least?

On hiatus, cos I'm so bored of blogging. Period.

Are we all living two lives simultaneously?

This is something which we have been asking ourselves for a long time, and till now we still cannot find a definite answer to that question. Who said it was easy? It wasn't easy, after all. One reflects our identity, which is also a part of our conscience. The other one, which speaks our heart's longings. Both lives contradict. We feel as if we are having split personalities ; the only thing that is different is that we are aware of what is going on in reality.

I've always been fickle-minded, regardless of tiny matters or big matters, ranging from what to wear to church to decisions of what I am going to pursue further after high school. As a perfectionist, I was often frustrated with myself for not being firm enough to make the right decisions on the spot. Then, paranoia starts to get a tight grip of me and negative thoughts start clouding my vision, and the fear of making the wrong decision begins to overwhelm me. Even picking a simply clothing, to match with accessories and shoes can be tedious.

Living two lives at the same is indeed wearisome, because eventually you'll get jaded somehow, and that is when you start to search for the real you, as in, not being affected with the people around you, and the influences to fit into the society. It can get pretty depressing, I've been through that before. Struggling with identity crisis was never my intention, and of course, I never saw it coming. Sometimes, you get too caught up with the world that revolves around you, people with their movements, people with their endless verbalizations, till you start to follow them subconsciously.

Where is the originality that you're born with?

That is the question that keeps ringing inside our mind. There is always a hypocritical side in us, including you and me. It's undeniable that we are afraid of dejection, so we tend to blend in the crowd just for the sake of recognition from other people. Or at times, we choose to come to a consensus of agreeing with everybody on a particular matter. We choose the latter, of not begging to differ, we choose to keep mum. The ugly truth is that we are all living in denial.After all we're always giving excuses to defend our actions, because being alone is something we all humans dread of.

How long can we conceal our real feelings/motives?

Not forever, obviously. Sooner or later you'll get tired of agreeing/disagreeing with the crowd, again and again. It becomes a routine, so ho-hum, because the entire cycle is repeating itself again. Everyone wants to speak up for themselves - to have a mind of their own,to have a special personality, to have their own two cents about anything and also to have their own point of views. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions, its just that some are facts and some are craps.

The trick is to be combative, and be logical to come up with constructive comments ; not stupid ones. Coming up with stupid comments will only put you into embarrassment, and you will be labelled as a total dumb ass who needs a brain extraction. Sarcasm is optional, but bear in mind that it is not the only arrow in the quiver. Of course, sarcasm is usually a sting to the receiving end, but remember that one sarcastic remark can end in great conversations and also start disputes. We shouldn't engage ourselves in sophistry for the sake of keeping others in line with our thinking, and also, we shouldn't be so gullible and credulous when it comes to believing who's right and who isn't.

Stand up for what is right and muster every ounce of confidence. When you're brave enough to speak up when everyone doesn't, it makes perfect sense that you are special, and you are worthy to be respected and also to be looked up to.

Because after all, you're the only one shining in the limelight, when other's don't :)

Oh, oh, when will thee free me from thy misery? Few more weeks, and I shall be grounded. Distanced, away, from the outside world. Inside my crib, inside my shell, where I seclude and devote myself to SPM.

(I might as well isolate myself from the world and be solitary in the hermit)

I shall savour every sweet moment of my final year in school. Yes, a tad heavy-hearted, but life has to go on.

9 months more, and voila. I will go through a metamorphosis. There is something, that I want to unleash within me. Something that speaks my heart's deepest desires, metaphorically.

And at this moment, I shall be grounded.

By the way, err, this is solely written for sheer randomness. I go ga-ga over David Archuleta (it rhymes!), he makes me swoon, and he gives me rainbow raindrops, but I am so disheartened cos he's a mormon.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

But I'm not angry, not even a tad. Well, just that it is quite disheartening.

But good music, food, euphoria, energy, glamour, friends.

Would make up for that.

Ruums, KL.

Vanity has a price to pay. Yes, yes.

Laundry, The Curve. The lights are just so vibrant and lively.


Maison, KL.

Andrea, when? But I'm broke.

Shucks.