???

I have been worrying for these few days. Something horrific happened, i should say. Yes, this is my second time having gum infection. I really really hate it . My gums are swelling, and thank God, it isn't bleeding because if it is, that would be a serious case of gingivitis. It doesnt hurt, instead, my gums are bulging. I have to brush my teeth and rise my mouth with Listerine three times a day.

My friend and her mother practically encouraged me to watch Brokeback Mountain. As all of you know, this movie is banned here in Malaysia because it contains some sensored scenes. Well, according to my friend's mother, it was tastefully done. Well, this movie might be perturbing for others. It is not about those obscene parts but its the storyline that captures everyone's heart. I might consider watching it. Well, it depends whether i have extra time or not ;)

There is nothing much to write here, as nothing bad or good happened to me. Problems, you guess it. It doesn't seem to get any better. However, my Faith in Him will never go weary. I trust the Lord with all my heart and soul. Thus, i have no doubt about His plans. KW has been being a pest all the time, hey BRO, don't get me wrong. Trust your sister ;). He has been persuading me to keep myself busy, in other words, getting involved in a relationship. I don't really care much about these puppy-love stuff. I told KW that nobody wants me and I do not want to get myself involved with all these flings that isn't beneficial and it is just a plenty waste of time. KW replied back saying that I'm afraid of getting hurt. At first, I didn't believe him, because who can actually understand me better than me understanding myself? Sounds peculiar and illogical. I'm ME, but there are others who understand me better than I do. He emphasized on the word 'hurt'. Well, I started reminiscing. Yes, my previous experience turned out sour, as it was a total disaster to me. There is no point crying over a spilt milk, and thus, I should not regret for what I've done. Few days ago, I took a test entitled ' Why are you still single?'. It sounds unME, because as you all know, I will not waste my time on these frivolous stuffies. But I was quite bored at that time, and my boredom was killing my sanity. Without hesitation, I took the test. When the results came out, I was numb with shock. To my horror, the results were totally the same as what KW said. Yeah, I'm afraid to get hurt. I have the results posted here at my blog, just below this one. Well, i started to think in an opposite angle. I started to realize that we can't judge ourselves. The ones who knows us well are the ones who understand us better, and it is impossible for us to judge ourselves. WooT WooT. I actually started to think rationally. Well, I always do. HAH ;). Web Tickle offers great tests, such as personality tests, IQ tests and the list goes on. I might consider this as my favourtie website ^_^

F1's tomorrow. Oh Yeah. The heat is back. Go Mclaren!And not forgetting, Arsenal! Kimi, strive hard to bring victory back! Arsenal, kick Man Utd and Liverpool's asses! Sorry for the offensive language. If you're a Man Utd or Liverpool die-hard fan, please don't bother ;). Apart from that, I'm sort of interested in Football and F1. There's no rule stated that girls aren't allowed to play all these. Most people assume that girls should learn how to sew and cross-stich. To be frank, I have 0% interest in that. But that doesn't mean that I'm a tomboy. Well, when I was small, I prefer playing Barbie Dolls. HAh ;) Even though i enjoy watching sports like football and F1, it doesn't mean that I'm a tomboy. I enjoy playing racing games on PS2/xBox 360 such as Need for Speed. I love the excitement. Once again, i must emphasize on this matter, I'm not a tomboy. My friends always tease me for being too girly as I am really scared of those creepy-crawlies. And you know what? I like pink too. Most girls presume that the colour pink is skanky and too girly. As for me, the colour pink brings out the feminine side and gentleness of a woman. I took a 'gender' test which my friend persuaded me to take since a millenium ago. I'm more on the feminine side. My feminine side far outweighs the masculine side. So... =)

To sum up, I strongly support my answer - not to get myself involved in a relationship. Not forever, of course. Probably when I'm mature enough to think and handle a relationship, perhaps when I'm 16 or 17. But since this is a crucial year for me, I will not bother anyway.. ^_^

I miss smokie... (") (^_^) (") Ruff!

this answers it all..

You're single because you don't want to get hurt


Why Are You Still Single?

Brought to you by Tickle

im living for Your GLORY

today's praise and worship was awesome and magnificient. im grateful that i didnt make any awful blunder. there were a few mistakes but it werent obvious. pheww. God was with us during praise and worship. in fact, all the time. throughout the service. i could feel His presence. apart from that, i realised that i have grown much mature. i thought that i was very unlucky, because i couldnt get what i want. but then, after watching the video, i realised how blessed i was. i didnt have to suffer, i have what i need. and yet, i asked for more. but now, im thankful for what i have. seeing the malnutritioned children boney and scrawny, i felt a little pinch of guilt. i have what i need, but yet i asked for more. because of my covetousness. and now, i have changed. i have turned into a new leaf. im grateful for what God has given me. He changed me again. i will never turn back to my old ways. i will never let the flame die. i surrender my life to Him.

a confession :
the Lord has been very good to me. He changed me. He healed my broken heart. He held out his hand to me when i fell down. when i experience pain, i call out to His name. i cry out to Him. He healed me miraculously. sometimes i tend to ignore God. i dont know what i was doing. and yet, i was touched by Him. and i went back to Him. and i got closer to Him. God works in unexpected ways. i truly appreciate what i have right now. even though i am facing problems right now, i tend to be in doubt. but now, i have no doubt about it. i have Faith in Him. He is my provider. day by day my Faith grows stronger. its Him who i live for everyday. as i look upon His name, circumstances fade away. His glory captures and steals my heart. Lord, i love You. take all of me. You are such a awesome God. an indeed great mighty God! He has opened my eyes. thank You for everything Lord. i will never be deceived by the devil. my trust and Faith is in You alone. i love You Lord. i will never ever repeat my mistake again. i love You. thank You so much. i'll never let You go.

all i want right now is to grow deeper in You Lord. that is what im asking for right now. i need You right now, Lord. You are my one and only God. thank You for saving me. thank You for everything.

uncivilised apes

few months back, i heard a very lame song...dont know whats the title....it went on like ' do re mi..wo ai ni' n bla bla...such a lame song!! siasuikan the music industry...this shows that real musicians in taiwan are either dead or their ideas are constipated ! sad to say, the island which used to be the hub for entertainment has now become the communion of loser-istic(no such word) music....wait..i wont even call it music.

For instance, the song "numa numa ei" from the latest American ( Note : NOT TAIWAN) film, like usual there's a taiwanese version of it...maybe taiwan thought they're disneyland or they felt sad that Disneyland was built on HK soil and not on theirs...so maybe they just cannot "min tui si sat" (face reality) ..only some musicians there like lee hom, jay chou & david tao produce good music...that is what i call music =D the taiwanese people in the music industry are probably the worst stowaways...they hitch hike on success created by other people..like the korean song, ost from the classic....or any english song which is in the top of the chart...and produce some kind of song that sounds similar which ultimately made lala(s) thought that song came from taiwan originally.. But lala(s) are originally not so intelligent after all...so their stupidity is justified....cant blame them .. anyway..in a nutshell, when u hear a taiwanese song on the radio and its nice, just bear in mind that maybe that song was cheaply imitated...ala taiwan.



.....i'll pray 4 u, taiwan .

blissful heaven. .

oh yeah, today was sports day. of course, victory belongs to the GREENS! we repeated history again. DONT MESS WITH THE COOL COZ THE COOL DONT FOOL, DONT FOOL WITH THE COOL COZ THE GREENS ALWAYS RULE! i was on duty today. Yuppe, for Leo. yet, it was filled with merriness. me and my friends laughed and guffawed throughout the whole day. an indeed memorable and unforgettable day. the holidays are here. Yupp, homework homework and more homework. today i'll be skipping tuition as i dont feel like going. im tired and exhausted. when i was sitting in one corner with my friend, some ape who came from an uncivilised planet poured glitter on me. my hair was shining like diamonds. my shirt looked like an armour. i still could not find the culprit. it was probably JY, as he always disturbs me. and i saw him holding the bottle of glitter. and that lame ape started the whole thing.

sometimes it is hard to get what we want and need. but why others can get whatever they want that easily? but not me? im just unsatiated. unsatisfied. and why is my life filled with problems coming continuously? the problems dont seem to get better. instead, it gets worse. my problems are like dead-ends to my life, where it is totally imfeasible for me to solve it. i just cant get the things which i long for. the chances are very very slim. its just impossible. sometimes i ponder and think, whether i can get through this. YES, i know that i need Faith right now. but things dont seem to amelioriate/get better. am i being impatient/raring? and it is just a matter of time? or im asking too much? Lord, please help me right now! i wanna build my Faith in You! Lord, i beg of You! i need Your help!!!

as i was writing this post, the song 'Heart Of Worship' was played in my WMP. i felt that God is talking to me right now, through the lyrics of this song. it touched me and made me cry. i cried because i was stirred. i believe that God was talking to me. at times when i am too tired, i tend to forget to pray. i feel a pinch of guilt. and i apologise to God. but i know that He is understanding. but yet, i know that it is my mistake. and i am willing to change for that.

after thinking for a few minutes, i have realised something. i should not ask for more of what has God given to me. i am truly blessed of what i have right now. i realized that i am a materialistic person. of course, i really want the things which i long for. but if God provides sufficiently for me, i am happy. i will never let the flame die. because i am growing in Him. spiritually. Jesus is my provider and shelter. thank You for loving me today, Jesus. i love You too.

i shall end my post here. i'll write more later.

JeHovaH JiReH,
mY ProVidEr,
HiS GraCe iS SuFFicienT FoR me!

the weather is a disaster

the stupid weather is a disaster to me. sulphurous. sweltering. i just hate the weather. it feels like im in an oven, baked at 350 degrees celcius. the hot weather makes me doze off easily. besides that, it makes me feel thirsty all the time. and you guys know what? im desperate for the clouds to shatter and thus, leaving tiny little cold droplets falling to the ground. i love it when the rainy season comes. cooling. when i hear the little raindrops fall onto the ground, that is when im at ease. where i feel peace in my heart. slipping into my cozy bed and go to dreamland. a bed of roses. purrrr-fect.

i finally changed the design of my bloggie. you know, i get bored really easily. HAHaH. i dont want my bloggie to look deadening and ho-hum. i learned to customize my blog template all by myself without anyone's help. im glad that i made it. (not bragging). but yet, i really wanna design my very own blog template. the thing is, i have to learn those HTML codes. unfortunately, i do not have time for that. but i'll learn it anyway. perhaps after PMR.

my whole body is aching. stupid weather, again. sports is next week. currently looking forward to the holidays. but yet, lots of homework will be waiting for me to accomplish. and i still have to revise my studies. i really wanna polish my English Language. i really envy my brother, C and Jay's style of writing. and how excellent their English is. i love over-descriptive poems. i love writing. English is just unique in its own kind. astonishing! =D

100% pissed off

i just could not stand her attitude anymore. when she called me names, i felt so humiliated. yes, i admit that i called her 'senile' but she called me a 'dog'. can you guys imagine that? she called me that! degrading. exacerbating. humiliating. super mortifying. i was having a red face. sometimes i am pissed off by her infantile and brat-like attitude! i respect her. and that is why im keeping a cool head about this matter. i totally hate it when she calls me that. cant she just grow up for once? im sick of her. she loves to blow her own trumpet. that is what that irritates the heck out of me. or should i call her the stealer of the limelight? she just wants to be in the center of attention. such atrocious attiude! sometimes she tells me her secrets, which sounds so far from true. that is a tall story. well, i'll just nod my head and listen to her 'so-called' stories. if she wants to mess with me, i'll mess with her. i make sure that she pays twice the price. i dont care if she puts on a pathetic look, with tears in her eyes. (oh please, that old trick wouldnt work. i bet you know that ;) )

i have realised that i am much hot-tempered these days. i just cant control my emotions! with all the pressures around me, i do not know how to cope. my exam results are frightening. or should i say mediocre? i dont know. all i know is that im not satisfied with my exam results. i should have worked harder. im prepared to face all the challenges ahead of me. i am always filled with anger when someone pisses me off! if you see me keeping quiet, well,im just being patient with him/her. if he/she goes on like this, i'll give him/her a telling off. these people are really annoying and bothersome. or maybe pestiferous? pests. LOL.

Dear Lord, i dont know what i am supposed to do. why are these happening without me knowing what am i doing? i dont know what am i doing. my mouth works faster than my mind when i am angry. when i lose my cool, i burst out like a nuclear bomb. i dont want this to happen anymore. it keeps happening. Lord, its tough. its difficult. take this away from me. please, Lord. im desperate for Your help! Lord, i trust in You!