There's this particular teacher, whom I loathe a lot, who seems to enjoy yelling at us like we're her slaves and she's the queen. No, I don't mean to condemn or gossip about her, but her attitude is somehow getting worse, and it really freaks me out. Well, she absolutely enjoys yelling and shouting at us for nothing. I hate to see her fugly face, and guess what, I see her almost every single pathetic day. What coule be far worse than that?! She's not pretty or young, as you can see fine lines/wrinkles on her grotesque and semi-decomposed face. (No..She's not a zombie, even though she looks like one to me. But I'm just exaggerating to make the story sound better ^^). I know, its wrong to do this, but I really need to release all the anger and hatred to prevent it from attacking me (this might sound weird, but I experienced this before). It will only do more harm than good if I don't blurt out my dissatisfaction. =)

To be frank, I dislike every single thing about her. The way she talks, walks and the way she dresses too. Its very obvious that she's a spinster due to her terrible infantile attitude. It couldn't be any better. She is so ugly, both on the outside and inside, her mirror tries not to look back at her in the morning. Its not that I hate her, my fellow readers. I have to emphasize on this matter that I don't hate her (even though at times I ask myself whether I'm really hating her. I still have my logical thinking, and I know its wrong to hate). I just can't stand her atrocious attitude that is provoking my anger. I have tried several times to be patient with her but her awful attitude is driving me insane. Sometimes I feel like I'm going bananas (mind you..I'm not a banana). At times when I cannot take it anymore, I feel like throwing some molotov cocktails (with lighted rags =p) to her house and thus, creating a perilous explosion. Each time she yells at me, I feel like giving her a tight sharp slap on her stupid face. For your information, she doesn't talk, instead, she yells. What a barbarian.. She must be a member of the barbarian invaders from some uncivilised planet, definitely not from the Milky Way Galaxy. I wonder how she got here, in earth, in Kuala Lumpur, and even got a job in SMKB?? Probably she murdered someone and ripped of her skin to be put on to her green-slimy-disgusting alien typed body (where they have super big eyes, large heads but no brains and strange fingers). Amazing. Perhaps she is an alien who is a homosapien-wanna-be. Who knows? We do not know what lies beneath.. The truth remains a mystery. Perhaps...



I'm good at making stories, eh?^^


I do not want to elaborate on this matter any further because I'm feeling much better after spilling the beans. So, I guess I should stop here. Oh yes, before I forget, please state your feedback about my blog. Any form of advice will do. Crticism will be greatly appreciated. It only makes me grow stronger ^_^.

There won't be mundane posts today. Hahahah. There'll be a survey taken from friendster which I filled up just now ^^. It might be lame for the some of you but bear in mind that it is MY blog. Deal with it.

ULTIMATE LOVE SURVEY
1] Is there someone who you like at the moment?
*not really..i have crushes on lengzai(s) but i
dun like or love them...hahaha xP

2] Have you ever given or been given roses?
*yea...^_^

3] What is your all time favorite romance movie?
*something funny..touching..and a little dash of
humour..and nice osts oso..haha..like my sassy girl..

4] How many times can you honestly say you've
been in love?
*all the time.. with God..family and friends..but
if ur saying 'dat kinda love' then im not so sure. hah

5] Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
*perhaps....its destined

6] Do you think that you should become friends
with someone first?
*perhaps...actually..im not so sure about it cos
it depends on my mood lol

7] Have you ever had your heart broken?
*sad but yea

8] What do you think about long-distance
relationships?
*it depends on both parties whether they are
wiling to face the challenges ahead of them..bcoz
its definitely not easy. well for most ppl it
might nt work.. but for me.. if u have faith..it
will last ^^

9] Your thoughts on online relationships?
*on9 relationships are very rampant nowadays..but
i don think its a serious kind of
relationship..they're merely playing around..
having fun.. thats all ^^

10] Would you rather date someone five years
older or five years younger?
*of course it wud be someone 5 yrs my senior..i
mean.. i wouldnt want a guy who's immature..come on =)

11] Have you ever seen a friend as more than a
friend?
*yeah.. im truly blessed to have such
understanding friends who were there 4 me all the
time.. esp patricia, rosabel, kiwi, jo yee, esther
and more..=)

12] Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater
always a cheater"?
*well...i believe in that 50%..cheaters tend to
play with ppl's feelings without feeling
remorseful... but who knows..people can change
like a chameleon.. those who are wiling to
change..give them a chance ^_^ those who
dont..erase them frm ur mind and boycott
him/her..hahaa hahaha ;p

13] How many kids do you want to have?
*probably none..haha

14] Do you usually fall for a wrong guy/girl or the
right guy/girl?
*there's no right or wrong in love..but yeah..haha ^^

15.what is your favourite colour?
*light and dark purple...sweet pink..baby
blue..light lime green..and more...all colours are
unique ^_^

16] What are your views on gay marriage?
* i condemn their act but i dun condemn the
person.. well.. it isnt right but i can accept
them 4 who they are..=D

17] Have you ever broken someone's heart?
*i guess i did...=(

18] Are you the one who makes the move or do
you wait for them to make the move?
*when im totally crazy in love..i tend to do
stupid things without knowing it..and i'll do
whatever it takes..well..it depends on my mood..
but for now im the type who waits..xD sounds
peculiar right? its just my idiosyncrasy..ermmm
not really..=))

19] Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died,
would you remarry
*i dont think so...i have tasted love and
happiness before..being 79 isn't young anymore...
so i'll just live on with my life with all the
sweet memories that my spouse has given me for
these long years..and live this life happily.. for
i'll meet my spouse in heaven someday.. ^^

20] Do you think remarriage is betrayal?
*it depends on each individual..but i dont think
so..im not sure..depends on what kind of situation..

21] At what age did you start noticing the
opposite sex?
*when i was 5? haha no lah..probably when i was 11
or 12 .. *blushes* lol

22] What song do you want played as you walk
down the aisle?
*whatever songs that suit my current mood.. that
would be great.. hehehehheeh =D

I hate to say this, but its already late at night, and yet I'm still blogging. Blerh. Who cares actually. Its my blog, and I can do whatever I want. Deal with it.

Today was hmm.. It was rather boring, I guess. I chatted with my uh-not-so-close classmate, JY and boy, I didn't know that he has grown so much. I have known him since primary school and he was those chicky and mischievious type when he was younger. I remembered once that he got punished because he was terribly naughty. HAH. And now, wow, *poof*.. A metamorphosis. He has indeed grown much more mature. And he's really good at giving advices. I salute him. Well, he faced the same problem as me before. Therefore, he truly understands how I feel. He has helped me to strengthen my Faith. It is quite weird because.... he used to have a crush on me (If you think I'm bragging, please go get a life. Its just stupid. And I CANNOT tolerate stupidity). But well oh well, that was 3 years ago. He used to disturb me a lot and now, he has changed. It was fun chatting with him, as he told me his side of his story. Thanks to him, I'm feeling much better now. He has taught me to be a better Christian too. Isn't that marvellous? Well, yes it is. (=

It is such a sad case that I got direful results for my exams, just like I said in my previous post. Well, I am disappointed, but crying over it will not make me smarter. So, why bother about it? Haha. Sigh, I really do sound arrogant. Nyahahaha. Hmm. Well.. talking about another matter which can drive me nuts. The are-there-anyone-else-who-can-accept-me-for-who-i-am matter. I am trapped in chaos. Hmmm.. If there are people out there who can accept me for who I am (besides my family and my close friends), I would like to congratulate them because its definitely not easy to accept someone who is sarcastic, cold and also cantankerous. Whatever that means. But at times I'm friendly with my friends, well, do I have split personalities or what? No I don't. I'm not absurd. I still have my common sense and logical thinking. I still have my brains. I'm not mentally ill.

Me.
Me.
Me.
Oh look - I'm still me. Muahahaha. (=

Having not enough of sleep is what that annoys me most. And when I'm too sleepy, I tend to be bad-tempered and a little cranky. Sighs miserably. Whenever my mood goes below 5 (between the scale of 1 to 10. 5 and above is the euphoric side while the 5 and below is the melancholic side), I feel like smashing things Who doesn't?. Nonono. I'm not a saddist or a violater. Its just my idiosyncrasy. Whatever that means. Wait, I would'nt even call it an idiosyncrasy, cos it isn't something weird or 'exotic'. Its just something which is..

Perfectly normal. Yupps. It is.

I better go get some sleep now. I have not been getting sufficient sleep for the past few days.

*baaaaaaaaaang!*-Joanne's head falls on the keyboard, creating a loud and yet cacophony sound, and there she falls asleep-

I'm on my journey to dreamland. Wahahaha. Night night.

dying away.

NOTE : There might be grammatical mistakes in this post but I'm not in the mood to check it.

I'm dying from an awful headache. Grrrrr. Today I got so bloody pissed off by our stupiest and lamest science teacher ever. Come on guys, let us cheer for the dumbest teacher ever. *Cheers flamboyantly* Fine, I'll stop arguing with him if he is wiling to give me one more mark so that I can score an 'A' for my science examination. WAIT, actually.. My answer's correct but he is really erm.. stupid obtuse. In fact, he HAS to give me extra marks for that question because its correct. Well.. I don't have to beg him for marks because :

1. I'm NOT a beggar (duh)
2. I deserve to get another mark for that question which he marked me wrong because I'm correct. Come on..tell me something I don't know. hahahaha
3. He's unsensible.. I'm talking the right thing and yet, he's saying that I'm being unpractical. Can't believe how stupid can he be. Ughhh. Well.. he should talk to the mirror instead and he can talk whatever crap he wants ^^

Look...I'm not being defensive or obstreperous. I'm just standing up for myself, and that is not a crime (duh). I'm not exaggerating or what, but I'm just standing up for what's right and what isn't. Oh yeah, I'm not a coward who is chicken-hearted =). I have dignity and self-respect. =) Oh yeah. I will not elaborate much on this matter. And I'll stop right now.

Sighs.....I'm feeling a little worried now because there are many things bothering me and yet I'm not in a uh-sort-of-good mood. Oh yes.. Yesterday I had an encounter with bird droppings. Dreadful, isn't it? Thank God it fell on my leg, and not my head. Well.. It was slimy and sticky, and of course, disgusting. Sigh..

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around..' Daniel Powter's Bad Day

Yuppe. I had a bad day. And I'm singing. lalalalala~

Happiness and euphoria. Poooooh, suprisingly, I had loads of fun. I mean loads. Enjoyed myself thoroughly. Made new friends, went crazy with them. It was unexpected. I thought it would be really boring, deadening or ho-hum. Sigh, looks that I'm really bad at anticipating something. =p The choir exchange programme was indeed mind-blowing. To be frank, their choir singing was well done. *claps claps* It was like sugarcoated cheese cake with chocolate sprinkles and a dash of cinnamon. Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating. But I'm craving for cheese cake right now. hee~ xD

The holidays are ending, and I'm prohibited from touching the computer. It means I can't blog as often as I can. Sigh, its definitely depressing for me. I'm a procrastinator, yeah, I admit. Despite the fact that my exams are near (according to my mom, but not me), I cannot waste time. There are about 100+ days left for me to revise my Form1, Form2 and Form3 studies. Come on, I can't even enjoy this stupid holiday. I just wanna enjoy while I still have the time. After this holiday, I'm going schizophrenic. Sigh...

' Don't waste your time on last-minute revision. You know, its no point wasting your time on frivolous pursuits.'

Duh, I know that. I flunked my mid-year examinations (all of them..sigh) and the results were hmm.. should I say mind-blowing, horrifying or 'brightly' coloured? Hmm.. Perhaps all of it. =) When revision books are pilled up in front of my eyes, I get adrenaline rushes. I turn cranky and crabby. My anger starts to rage like a roaring thunder. I have deep hatred for books. I mean, textbooks and not novels. heh =] Each time I need to study, I feel like ripping all the pages of the books and burn them into ashes to be thrown into the wide blue sea. Oh ya, I'm NOT pugnacious.

*Breaks into thin silence*

There's nobody in this stupid world who can accept me for who I am. I've had enough of all the criticism and all the harsh words. The words they said to me are like sharp razor blades washed with pure poison, tardily piercing through my fragile bruised heart. After all, I'm used to it. It's not that I CANNOT accept criticism. It's just that they keep repeating it again and again. When patience is tested, sarcasm is required. I mean, my patience has its limits too. Therefore, I give them a straight-from-the-shoulder. And here they go again, beating around the bush telling me right at my face that I'm very sarcastic, cold and rude. That is when my anger shows.. Nahh..I don't throw tantrums even though at times I feel like doing so. 'Anger management, Joanne! Bear in mind. Anger management!'

Oh yeah, I have a new god-sister who is a year younger than me but yet she's taller than me T_____T. Besides that, she's really sweet, I mean really really sweet. And she's as cute as a fluffy teddy bear. Met her yesterday and she's so friendly. Glad to have a new god-sister. Before I forget what I want to say, let me jot it down right here, right now. One of my *partners in crime* told me that she's jealous because I get to dance with a drop-dead gorgeous hunk yesterday. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! *bursts into an absurd laugh*

Hahaha...Thats all for now.
I'm so happy for yesterday cos...HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sigh.. I can't stop saying this. =P

One of the sights that always sends tingles throughout my body is that of elderly couples spending time with each other. Whether they are holding hands, sitting alongside each other on a park bench or nursing their sick spouses, these heart-warming scenes are wholesomely captured, etches and forever immortalized in my mind. Such simple pictures can stir my spirit, soothe my soul and gladden my heart. I ponder their beauty. But suddenly, my ruminatings are punctured by the depressing reality that our world today is instead replete with short-term relationships, fast-track living and self-serving attitudes.

How superficial and transient our flawed existences have become. Where is the permanence, unwavering commitment and steadfast love today? Today, we are living in the schizophrenic world of nonsense. Isn't that disapponting? Well, on countless times, God as graciously shine His light of wisdom into the crucible of my darkened world. Today, He reminds me that though the world is ever in flux, He is my immutable God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And His steadfast love is permanent and forever more. =)

[For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations] ~Psalm 100:5~

I don't know whats the feeling inside of me right now.. I'm feeling guilty and a little uneasy. Sigh. It doesn't feel good to be like this.. Burdened??