~chor yat~

today is chor yat. wa lau wehh, so fast. just came back from my family reunion lunch. it was really nice! almost everyody wore the chinese clothings, with bright colours. this is the first time im celebrating CNY without my grandpa. when we were eating my grandma weeped because memories came flashing back. i pity her, because i know it feels to lose your loved one. but im glad that she is over with it. at least she is better right now. i realised that we should not be saddened by death for a long time. life has to go on. how can we live this life with sadness and sorrows? in fact, we should live this life with happiness.

yesterday i realized that smokie has really really grown. i browsed through her baby pictures and i realised that she has really really changed! she has grown, indeed! last time i used to carry her and spin her body. and now, im having a hard time carrying her because she is too heavy for me! when i was bathing smokie i saw a reddish wound on her front leg. i was so worried about her. after drying her body i applied antiseptic cream on her wound. i hope that her wound will heal as soon as possible.

yesterday's steamboat was fun. i was fighting with my friend for meatballs. the meatball fight. wahahaha. sounds so lame!

today was alright. i had breakfast at anuja's before going to church. i ordered ROTI PLANTA and they end up giving me ROTI TELUR. i was like %!&^*^@*@!^, i asked for ROTI PLANTA not ROTI TELUR! i wanted to change but i was running out of time. during praise and worship, many things happened. memories came flashing back into my mind like photos falling from the sky. tears came rolling down on my cheeks. i was touched by the Lord. Amen! i cried out all my problems and sadness to Him. and later, my tears of sadness changed into sadness of joy! Amen! praise the Lord! my river of sadness overflows while my river of joy dries up. but this time, it was the opposite! thank You Lord! after service i chit chatted with my heng tai chi mui(s). talked crap, as usual. i felt a sharp pain at my back. it was painful and i was like holding my stomach. then, my chi mui, radiance massaged my back and i felt much better. the pain comes and go. at that moment my mood changed drastically. im a constant mood swinger. i can laughing right now and the next second i can be crying.

after church we headed to grandma's house for lunch. at that time my stomach was really really painful! the pain was excruciating and agonizing! i prayed to God that He will take the pain away. i sat down on the chair and i felt a little better. i looked so pale, my face was plain white. at one time i couldnt endure the pain anymore. i commanded this, 'in Christ's name, the pain shall go away! right now, in Christ's name!'. to my suprise, the pain went away- super fast! i was filled with gladness! i was so happy! i knew that God was here with me! He was protecting me in his everlasting arms! Amen! i repeated this several times and it worked. my mood changed -again! i became more lively! whahaha. i can really change like a chameleon. =P

this week i'll be bombing at my heng tai chi mui's house. hahahaha. its gonna be real FUN! im really looking forward to it! sigh, i think i have put on 5kgs. i do not know and i dont wanna know! that is my greatest fear of all! i hate to put on weight! i hate being fat! im already so fat and i do not want to grow fatter! i ate so much of fattening food today. i feel so guilty! >.<>

okay okay, my next topic. L-O-V-E. i seriously do not know what to say about this. but yet, i feel like talking about this matter. so weird~! i have been hurt emotionally and i do not want this to happen again! besides, i guess that it is still puppy love. so i do not wanna get myself involved in a relationship. i seriously dunno larr. sometimes i feel that it is right to be in a relationship and sometimes i feel that im still young. and it is only puppy love- a relationship that will not last. being in a relationship is all about trust and honesty. whats a relationship without trust and honesty? WAIT, i wouldnt call it a relationship anyway. probably a game of love. LoL! well, i've been that before. haihz, it is really so suckish. i regretted knowing him in the first place. if i didnt meet him in the first place, these things will not happen. i guess that i should blame myself for this. i realised how stupid and dumb i was! i was like giving in all the time! at that moment i do not know what i am doing! i guess that love made me blind. it blurred my vision. probably i loved him too much, and i was wiling to give in. goshd. this will never ever happen again! i was a small girl before, and now, im no longer one! i know whats right and wrong! anyway this incident has taught me a lesson. i learned from my trials and errors! im glad that it is over~! hehehe. never been loved was better that being loved by a loser! wahahahah. am i right? 8) ~hate me for who i am, rather than to love me for who im not~

hmm.. actually i really enjoy being mean and sarcastic. it is really nasty to be mean. but i enjoy being mean. wahahahah. being too mean can hurt others. so i guess that i should not be mean all the time. muahahaha. for example, famous mean people. simon cowell, paul moss and the chief doctor from the tv sitcom 'scrubs'. these people are really good at being mean! i must learn from them~ im only mean when my mood is screwed up. dont be scared, i aint gonna eat you. ^_^ i apologize if im too mean ya. sorry friends ^.^

okay i gotta go. i have written a long long post. till then. sayonara.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL! MAY THIS BLESSED NEW YEAR FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND JOY! GONG XI FA CAI! 8)

~maple~

The dark cloud places a piece of shadow in our hearts
I listen respectfully to my mood, which has already been quiet for a long time
Clear and transparent
Just like the beautiful scenery
Its always only clear when seeing it in my memory

Can the heart, that has been thoroughly hurt, still continue to love me?
I make an effort to pull up the pair of hands that have no warmth
The tenderness in the past has already been locked by time
Only leaving sadness that doesnt go away
The maple leaves slowly falling down are like thoughts
I light a candle to warm up the end of autumn
The northern lights plunder the edge of the sky
The northern wind brushes past the expressions of missing you
I take love and burn it into fallen leaves
Yet I cant get back that familiar face

The maple leaves slowly falling down are like thoughts
Why must retrieving be hurried before winter comes?
Loving you passing through time
Two rows of tears from the end of autumn
Let love permeate through the ground
All I want is you to be by my side

The graceful red rain in between the mountainside
Withering with the north wind
I lightly swing the wind chimes
I want
To awaken the love that has been deserted
Snowflakes are already spread all over the ground
Deeply scared that the maple leaves outside the window have already become frozen

so much to say

goshd. tomorrow is CNY's Eve already. looking forward to something takes a long time. but yet, it passes really fast. and it ends in a second. just like that. many things happened this week. i've got so much to say. yea, ups and downs. im gonna suffer after CNY. we are given 1 month to get 105 signatures! my oh my, what a big number! no choice but i have to. plus aural tests. english and bm. i have to memorize the essay and present it in front of the class! so many missions to accomplish. projects coming up. tuitions. duty. PMR. makes me go dizzy! aiyoR! i wonder whether i can get through this. i doubt it. o Lord, i hate the position where i am standing right now! i wished that 2006 will end, really really fast.

now, about two faced people. i wonder why some people can have two faces. they are angels in front of you. but they are actually devils behind your back. imagine this. you are walking happily on a street, with no worries. and suddenly, someone stabs you with a sharp knife. unexpectedly, it is someone whom you trust so much. i realised that they are actually 'fake' people in this world. they seem like the best person ever. comforting me. cheering me. but behind my back, they are cursing me. gossiping bout me. doing such harsh things. to be frank, there ARE two-faced people around me. why cant they just be true and real? why do they have to put on the mask? i hate two-faced people. i mean who wouldnt? two-faced people are always trapped in the burning mist of stupidity. they can never escape from it, unless if they are wiling to change. whatever came from their mouth was lies. lies lies lies. rubbish and rubbish. i know that i cannot be compared to you. you have everything. but i dont. i know that. you are rich in the outside but you are poor in the inside. you are asking others to be better when you yourself cannot do what you say. please oh please, i wished that i never met you. i regretted trusting you. two-faced people like you do think a little slower. go get a life, please? you are such an eye sore. seeing you behaving like wild stallions, as if you were wise and holy, makes me laugh. i dont need your sympathy. i dont need you to be my friend. please, oh please, you will be erased from my mind. remembering you as my friend aint gonna do me any good.

P. S = im sorry if im being a little offensive in my language. i hope that you dont mind reading errors in my so-called essay.

music is a language

there is one language which i love. unique in its own kind. 'music'. music is a language which is beautiful and lovely. i would say that im connected to the music world. i love music as much as i love my life. NO music NO life. i wonder how people can survive without music. im in my school's choir. YeS! i went for audition and im in the soprano part! goshh!! started practicing during recess. sang belaian jiwa. such a touching song. love it. my schedule is jam packed with plenty of things! argh! i cant bear to go on like this anymore. no choice but i have to. i pray that the good Lord will help me to get through this. definitely He will! Amen!

im back to the 'sad love songs season'. haha. when i listen to the sad love songs, i feel like writing something very descriptive. not essay. its like a note. i guess??? no idea. sigh. my english is terrible. now im listening to 'an jing' by jay aka my hubby. =p not anjing okay! you people dont pronounce it as anjing! it is an-jing. which means 'silence'! =.="

silence breaks the atmosphere. filled with tears of sorrow. my tears have turned into time that i have waited for a miracle to happen. the beginning was sweet. i realised that i cannot lose because i love you too much. things were great. everything was wonderful. we were flying together in the boundless sky. with cheerful smiles on our face. holding hands. i was touched by you. you touched my heart and soul. you gave me happiness and hopes. you made me felt that you were the one. soon i made an awful blunder. i decided to let you go because of the gap between us. you made a confession that you wanted to do so but you end up not doing that because you do not want to hurt me. i was touched, but i decided to let you go. time passed quickly. i realised that i still have feelings for you. deep passionate feelings which words cannot describe. i blame myself for losing you. i braved myself to ask you whether you loved me when we were together. you said yes. i wanted things to be back to normal. i want you back. but i realise that the past is the past. i could not stop blaming myself. i felt that i was so stupid. a broken glass which shattered into pieces on the floor could not be the way it used to be before. soon you began to ignore me. at that moment i felt so heartbroken. the rose withered. with petals falling down. i cried a million drops of tears. my heart was shattered into bits. pierced deeply. it left an ugly scar. the torment i felt could not be healed. the pain i was enduring was agonizing. soon, you finally notice me. i was too happy. at least you recognize my existence. but i realised that it is nothing. i felt so much of sadness. i wanted to cry out all my sadness. i guess it is destined that we are meant not to be one. fate answers it all. i should let go of you. it seems impossible but i have to. so long, farewell my lover. goodbye and take care.

wow! i actually wrote that long! hahaha. i love writing like this. those over-descriptive short essay. obsessed with it! muahahahaha! 8) i wanna brush up my style of writing! i love being a writer! not really, i mean short essays. those really really descriptive ones with bombastic english! wahahahah! i love it! 8) the so-called essay which i wrote above is based on my experience. so you all know la. ahhaah. =p

'i shall catch my dream and make it as a part of my life'
-Joanne Ong-
-copyrights reserved 2006-

stressed out!

im only allowed to touch the computer on weekdays. sobs =( this week was so hectic. and busy. my schedule is jam packed with so much of things! sigh =( last monday i fell sick. i was down with flu and fever. i was sneezing non-stop. it sucks to be sick. i hate that feeling. on wednesday i went back to school. everybody asked me whether i ponteng(ed). how can they have such a bad impression on me?! no! haha, just kidding. on that day itself i felt so terrible. i felt like i was going to burst like a balloon. then shantini and jo yee went with me to the toilet. thanks guys =) they were caring. thanks ya my dear friends. lubb ya. 8) then i felt much better afterwards.

everyday i get morning sickness especially in the morning. i cant even swallow my food! i mean i can, but its kinda hard for me to do so. so i drank the tea mixed with ginger which works as an anti-nausea medicine for me. it really worked. it tasted OK. wasnt that bad as i thought. 8)

in school i felt so sleepy. almost everyday. sometimes my stomach hurts. dont know why. probably the wind. it sucks to go on like this! this year is an important year! i dont wanna go on like this. always feeling sleepy in class. no!

today was okay. not bad. i felt sleepy during IT and KH lesson. could not even hold the pen to jot down the notes given because of the pain im enduring in my stomach. urghhh! i hate it . i hope that this will not repeat again! it totally sucks. =.=" mr joshua gave so much homework today. holy crap~ he is kinda cool. he is like telling us about Christianity. he is kinda funny. he talks abour adam and eve, the fallen world and the list goes on. fun! haha! but he gives alot of homework. so cham 8(

okay, im not really free right now. this is a simple post by me as i am quite busy. till then. sayonara 8)

100th post

i finally reached my 100th post. muahaha. okay, enough of crap. let me start my point right now. about animal cruelty.

i consider myself as an animal lover. i have a lovely dog named smokie. one day i read the newspapers about abused dogs. i really really hate it when people do such thing to animals. animals have feelings too. they know what is 'love' and 'affection'. but why are they treated this way? one german shepherd dog, named Sheena was tied up in her house. with no food or water. siting on her own faeces. her neighbours called the veterinary department but nobody came. then, they decided to SPCA and SPCA rushed to the scene. it was too late. Sheena had to be put to sleep.

it only creates awareness to us when an animal is abused. and another Mongrel puppy was beaten by his owner with a rubber hose. when it was published in the newspapers, i wanted to cry. the poor Mongrel was in skin and bones. how can these owners do such inhuman things????!! the fine for animal abuse is only 200 bucks or 6 months in jail. that is not good enough! animals are living things too. they should raise the fine to a higher amount! this is so not fair!

now, talking about the owners. when you are ready to have a pet, be ready for the consequences. you have to be real patient. and do your responsibility as an owner. do not leave them starving! if you really wanted to have a pet, you woudnt do such things! or even worse, do not ever abuse them! if you have no time to take care of them, give it to your friends or SPCA! at least it is better for them. they dont have to suffer. for the sake of the humanity, the galaxy and all living things! why do you release your anger towards animals?!! animals are living things too! animals should be loved, not abused! animals arent things. they have feelings. they know what is 'sadness' and 'pain'. if you want to release your anger, go and do something else which you dont have to touch the animals! if you were treated this way, how would you feel? would you enjoy it? definitely no!! so dont ever abuse animals. instead, show them love.

furthermore, animals can cheer you up. it sounds ridiculous, but they can really put a smile on your face! they know it when you are happy or sad. animals are loyal too. remember the German Shepherd, Sheena i mentioned just now? Sheena would still lick her owner's hands even though she was treated this way. can you imagine that? which living thing would ever be so loyal to their owner even though they were abused? no right?!

i admit that my dog gets me on my nerves when she is naughty. but i always tell myself to be patient. as i love my smokie very much, i do not want to let her go. because she is the guard of my house and my best canine friend ever. =)

-sleepy-

i get so sleepy in the morning (about 8am) at school. sometimes i get headaches. when i do not get enough of sleep. then, lack of concentration. i wont be able to concentrate on what the teacher is saying. i can use the computer on weekends only. pity me. sad case. sports practice is on tuesday. and my duty falls on a tuesday too. it clashes! how am i suppose to attend both of it? =.= im so blur and lost. i hate sports practice because i totally rot in that! i wish i was an athlete. because i am interested in sports. too bad i suck in it. fat chance if i can be one.

tomorrow, saturday. hectic day. lots of things to do. attend this and that. saturday is such a hectic day! im really sleepy now. i just had my dinner. KFC. yeah, the fish sandwich. it was not bad. but i still prefer mcdonalds! haha -.-v peace. my mom cooked dinner and i did not eat the food she cooked. instead i ate KFC after tuition in the evening. sorry, mom =.=

saturdays are actually fun. you get to wake up at any time you like. you get to play with your friends. you get to go out. but it is totally the opposite for me. my saturday is like jam packed with things to do. you name it! music classes, revision, homeworks and the list goes on. my schedule is like super tight. i get to rest on mondays and wednesdays only. but i'll spend my time sleeping and revising my studies on these days. i must sleep in the afternoon for a day (at least). or else i get headaches. T.T

i actually started to study! whoa, amazing. i really wanna score straight a's for my PMR this year. it seems impossible in the outside. 7as. i doubt it. but i really wanna get good results! im so desperate. uhh. it seems so difficult to grab 7a's! i shall do my part and God will take care of the rest. Amen!

this week of school was average. you know, one whole bunch of homework. i dislike it alot! projects coming up soon. ahhh! sports practice next week! i dont wanna go! waste of time! =( but i have to go. it is compulsory. or else i kena punish. but it clashes with my duty! how????????! im so lost and blur. if i dont attend one of it, i will be punished. how????? i really dunno!!!!! X_x

exhausted! this is what i feel right now. suprisingly i have the 'energy' to sit in front of the computer and visit my blog. tomorrow i have to wake up early. again >.

okay, im too tired already. gotta stop here. im too tired! more than words could say. haha =.= okay, good night! *o* [yawns]

i want to design blog skins!

i just came back from my friend's party at kfc. im gonna put on weight! sigh. im already so fat,and i think im growing fatter. sigh! i dont wanna put on weight! =( tomorrow's school. have to wake up early in the morning. and there will be so much of honework for me to complete! this year is a crucial year for me as i i will be sitting for my major examination, as you all know, PMR. i finished my homework this afternoon and i had not enough time to revise my studies. i dont wanna be a lazy worm like last year! last year i didnt pay attention to the teachers. i regretted! =( and i did not finish my homework on time. and i talk, talk and talk with my friends. and play, play and play. i was being so undisciplined. and i studied very little. i dont want history to repeat!

i have to discipline myself to be more hardworking. i admit that i am lazy. i always procrastinate and i always delay my tasks. 'never put off till tomorrow what can be done today' i must remember that!

nowadays i am obsessed with blog skins. im interested in designing things. especially blogs and websites. i really really want to design blog skins! but too bad, i do not know how to! i have to learn those HTML codes which is so complicating! i love blog skins which have black backgrounds with colourful , simple and unique designs. it is hard for those blog designers out there to fulfill my requirements. HAHa. because im too picky and fussy. LOL. i consider myself as a perfectionist. i complete my tasks perfectly (not perfect la. nobody is perfect la. i mean that i complete my tasks properly. not perasan kay!). if im not satisfied with what i have done, i'll change the whole thing and i'll try to do some minor changes until i am satisfied. if not, i feel uncomfortable. i feel like there's something is bothering me and i need to accomplish it fast and perfectly. it sounds pretty weird, right? i do find it weird too. but this happens once in a blue moon! HAha.=P

alright. i have to take my smokie for a walk right now. tata. =]

. . .

Whatcha been doin'? Whatcha been doin?
Whoa, Whoa,
Haven't seen ya 'round,

How you been feelin'? How you been feelin'?
Whoa, whoa,
Don't you bring me down,

All that stuff about me,
Being with him,
Can't believe,
All the lies that you told,
Just to ease your own soul,
But I'm bigger than that,
No, you don't have my back,
No, No, HA

[Chorus]

Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's goin' on,
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,

Well I'm sorry,
That he called me,
And that I answered the telephone,
Don't be worried,
I'm not with him,
And when I go out tonight,
I'm going home alone,
Just got back from my tour,
I'm a mess girl for sure,
All I want is some fun,
Guess that I'd better run,
Hollywood sucks you in,
But it won't spit me out,
Whoa Whoa, HA

[Chorus]

Hey, how long till the music drowns you out?
Don't put words up in my mouth,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you face what's going on?
Cause you really got it wrong,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you look at your own life,
Instead of looking into mine,
I didn't steal your boyfriend,
Hey, how long till you're leaving me alone,
Don't you got somewhere to go?
I didn't steal your boyfriend,

Please stop telling all your friends,
I'm getting sick of them,
Always staring at me like I took him from ya'

blank®

today was okay. nothing special. yesterday had dinner with my relatives who are migrating to australia soon. i was like alone. hahaa. because i was the only girl there. but okay lah. the boys talked and i just listened. their conversation was like pure crap. all crap. i kept on laughing there. lol! yesterday was um...okay . because someone pissed me off in the afternoon on that day. i got so pissed off by these super lame people. they think that they themselves are much better than us. and they rule this world. its so stupid and lame. acting cool is not cool at all. honestly, it makes me laugh. you guys make me laugh. really. it is like you are acting cool and you want others to think that you're cool. but you know what? you failed in that. 'monkeys will always remain as monkeys even though it wears a beautiful skirt' sorry to be mean, but this is the truth. FACE it people! ACCEPT it and DONT DENY!

i wonder why people can be so boastful, obnoxious and extremely haughty. they want others to know that they have this and that. they want others to envy them. they want people to be jealous of them! to be frank, this type of thinking is just too lame to be more lame. they think they are high-and-mighty. they are absolutely condescendingly proud. it irritates the heck out of me!

'hey..i got boyfriend already...he is so handsome..sweet..he bought for me something..so touching...i love my darling forever..he is so cute..'
'ugh..whatever..i didnt ask anyway. stop showing off. so what if you have a boyfriend? big deal hah? sorry to me its not.. try harder next time. =)'

people say that i am mean and sarcastic. well sometimes i have to be mean to point blank some people who think that the galaxy belongs to them. but wait, dont get me wrong. im not gossiping about others. i am only talking about the way they act, it is what and how, not who. please dont think that im gossiping about this particular person or whoever. im not. im just talking about the way they act. if i am being sarcastic, it is for a good purpose anyway. to teach some people a lesson, to wake them up from their sleep. dont get me wrong peeps out there! i aint that scary...!

actually i aint that scary! do i sound like a beast? RoaaarrrrrrRrrR! like king kong??? nonono! i aint that scary! okay, im being lame. my level of stupidity is getting higher and higher. o.O i dont want people to take me as simple minded fools. haiz. i seriously hate it when people do this to me. yea yea, i dont have brains like you people have.. too smart to be smarter.. happy?

sunny sunday

i came across to this picture when i was searching for information on google. it just appeared. 'whoa...cunted and cool man!!' i exclaimed. this picture really rocked. the nike logo actually looks like a 'J' if you see from a different angle. i decided to put this picture in my blog since i love it too much ^_^

on thursday, i was caught by a so-called pengawas. she checked and she wrote my name down because my nails were too long. she looked super arrogant with that blazer on. she think she's the ketua. uhh. yeah, ketua zon only. my nails werent that long okay! it was not longer than my finger okay! cant she just open up her eyes a little bit?she even used her paper and slapped my friend's back because my friend was talking to his friend. and she wanted to check his nails. cant she just be a little polite?i guess monkeys trying to act cool really suck. its better if you go back to your cage.but there are some nice prefects out there. they know what they are doing. and they deserve a clap of applause from all of us. they are totally nice. friendly and humble! good job guys! you rock man..

okla..this will be a short post because i gotta get ready for church.. yiPeeE! till then. adios..

happy or sad?

just came back from my music class. i woke up this morning and practiced my piano. today's lesson was quite fun. she didnt get angry today. she didnt scold me. : ) haha.i played my pieces quite okay. there were few mistakes. but overall it was much better than the previous week. teacher praised me. hahah. i sound like a kid. uhh. she said that i imporved a lot. my sight reading has improved, my speed of reading and playing the notes are faster and my technics are much better. i heard from my friend that the theory results is out. i was like 'what?! im not ready yet....' i went to the reception and asked the staff. he said it will only be out on the notice board by next week. things went haywire and everything was totally messed up. so the results were delayed. i asked teacher to have a look at the results and see what i got. this time im quite confident. she said that i passed the exam. i wanna score 'merit' or 'distinction'. hope so. a sigh of breath relief for me.

should i be sad or happy? im stuck. it never rains, it pours. these problems keep coming continously. non stop. each time where there is hope, it goes away all of a sudden. vanishing slowly. is this the beginning or the end? i dont know. it looks like it is the end, but pastor's sermon told us that it is only the begininng. i seriously dont know. i leave my choices to Him. but of course, i pray that God will bless us abundantly. life is difficult. it is tough to go on like this. day by day we see hopes on fire. then on the next day, the fire is put off and the smokes disappeared into thin air. it is sad to see your hopes taken away. things arent the same anymore. it is different. tougher. i really really really hope that things will change. it seems impossible. but i really really really pray that God will have some mercy on us.

this song entitled 'evermore' by hillsong music australia really rocks. especially the music, the music arrangement, and of course, the lyrics.

Lost for words with all to say
Lord you take my breath away
Still my soul, my soul cries out
You are holy

And as I look upon Your name
Circumstances fade away
Now Your glory steals my heart
You are holy

You are holy
You are holy Lord

Evermore my heart, my heart will say
Above all, I live for Your glory
Even if my world falls I will say
Above all, I live for Your glory

With all my heart I'll say
I'm living for Your name
With all to give You praise
We're living for Your glory Lord

i realised that i am much closer to Him. i love the Lord with all my heart. i will worship Him forever and ever. even though my world falls, i will always worship the king of kings, that is Jesus. i am glad that i am much closer to Him. nothing explains it. i trust the Lord with all my heart, and all my soul. i live for You alone.

total makeover for my blog!

i took 2 hours just to change my blog! my entire blog, the name, the design, the background. almost everything. it first things didnt work out. then i learned it by myself! *perasan* hahaha. im quite happy with my blog right now. at least i dont see that same old design again. something different from others. i am really sleepy now. o.0 but i wanted to finish working on my blog, so i didnt care how sleepy i was. it was worth it anyway. actually i wanted to give my blog something nice earlier in the beginning, but i didnt know how to do it. so i had to learn by myself. and now, i already know the basics! wahahha. dead happy! XD

tomorrow im having my music class. aiyak >.<

i really really want a new phone. nowadays the phones are so sophisticated. i wanna buy a new handphone. my current handphone is like, uh totally obsolete. these are the phones which caught me

1. sony ericsson w800i
2. nokia n90
3. nokia 6101
4. nokia 6111

these phones are definitely not within my budget. these phones are so bergaya, stylish and sophisticated! with good features. fat chance if i can buy or own one. so i guess i have to forget about this since it is impossible.

monday and tuesday are holidays! happy happy happy! uhh, but i have so much of homework to do. i have to read one of the lamest novels, named panas salju. this 200-page novel is just so lame. uninteresting, boring and dull. i have no choice but to read it. because i have to write a synopsis which contains 200 words. sounds so crazy! i'll start reading by tomorrow and i hope that i can finish the novel by monday. then i can finish my work earlier. and the history notes. one whole chapter consists of 10-25 pages. and we are suppose to do our own notes. sounds so friggin stupid! have to complete my homework fast. so that i can revise my studies. coz i am desperate in getting straight a's! i dont wanna get 6, i wanna get 7! all things are possible through Christ. He makes things possible for us. i believe so.

i really wanna brush up on my english! now i realised how teruk my english is! limited vocabulary and grammar mistakes, often happen. reAd, ReaD, rEaD! that is what my parents and my teachers tell me. depends actually. hahahaha. i wanna have good english. i love english! english, live life forever! hahaa. sounds so freaking lame. uhh >.<

things dont seem to go well. why is it so? why has things become like this? is this only a beginning?im really disappointed. that things didnt work out. but i believe that Jesus has His own plans which is good for us. maybe all we need is a little of patience. but i really hope that things wont change that bad. if it did, i dont know what will happen. i dont dare to think about it. it scares me. *shrugs*

okay. im running out of brain juice. my level of energy is deteroriating. i gotta go to bed. if possible, i can go and watch tv right now : )! hahaha. now they have good shows. especially at this time. okayz okayz. i'll continue tomorrow. good night.

pressured

it has been days i didnt visit my blog. busy with lots of things. yea, exactly. school stuffs, revisions, homework and the list goes on. this year's new year was the best new year in my entire life. indeed the best. after church, we went to the futsal court near sunway college. it was fun. i played too. there's no rule stated that girls are not allowed to play futsal. hahaha. i realised that i actually sucked in futsla. nevermind. that is a boy-like game. not meant for girls like me. : ) then at night, it poured so heavily. we thought of dining at seri kembangan for good seafood, but the weather was blocking our way. then we went for karaoke at tropicana club. it was extremely fun! i thought it would be boring, but it actually rocked the whole night. we sang so many songs, had drinks, took pictures, had great laughs and had a good time. i missed the fun we had. it was indeed a memorable experience that will be embedded in my memory forever. =)

school. school life is getting hectic right now. bunch of homework! projects coming up, anytime! im not really used to getting up that early in the morning. in the afternoon, i get tired. its a matter of getting used to it. now, im adapting to morning-session school life. seems pretty good. getting used to it. the first day of school was a suprise. my best friend told me that she might be transferred to another school in Bangi (that is a planet away from SMKB). me and my friends hoped that she didnt have to go. i woke up quite early that morning. felt nervous. cold sweat. scared of being alone. haha. as i put my first step on the ground of my school, i was my friend there. pheww~ it was a sigh of breath relief for me. i was looking for my friend who was suppose to transfer to another school. she was nowhere in sight. i felt kind of down, coz she was my best friend since form1. somebody patted my back all of a sudden. i turned around, and i saw my very best friend with her hair tied up and a bright cheeky smile! she didnt have to transfer ti another school. oh yeah oh yeah. i was so happy that time. she hugged my other friends. it was lovely to see my friends back. some grew prettier. some grew taller. some grew more chubby. like me. HAha.

well this year's 3B teachers are considered mediocre. i hated geography since form1. and now, im starting to like it! the teacher who teaches me geography is so way bergaya and cunted! she makes us laugh all the time. her lesson was filled with extra super fun! i got mr joshua as my english teacher. his lesson is not bad at all. kinda interesting. much better than last year. ooops. okay okay, i'll stop my sarcastic nature. my bm teacher looked kinda horny and fierce. he scared us. and we were so terrified. we thought what he said could be true. i asked some of my seniors and they told me not to worry, because he is notorious of scaring students so that the students will complete the homework given. my class teacher was, uh, okay. nothing much bout her. my kh teacher was the best! she taught me the same subject as last year! was so happy when i got to know that i was in her class. my maths teacher is um, okay. she is such a petite and sweet young lady. and our science teacher! mr nice! he is always laughing. always. he is a good teacher with a bubbly personality.

okay, i gotta go. numerous tasks are waiting for me to accomplish. bye for now.

february blues

woW. february is already here! sigh... have to buy more presents already..hahaha.. just kidding 8) yesterday was so fun. i was out for almost the whole day. went to khai weng's house with jo yee and shari. ate junk food and played ps2. need for speed is really superb! that game really rocked man. HEy! im not a tomboy okay just because i like these type of games. there is no rule stated that girls are not allowed to play these kind of racing games! hahahha. jo yee asked me to try burn out revenge. i saw the review in mtv gamepad. it looks great, i MUST try it. i'll be bombing jo yee's house one of these days therefore i can have a try ^_^. then went to kfc. walked there. talked crap. khai weng belanja(ed). so did not have to pay a single cent. wakakakak. then played ice. :P walked back home. went to playground. they played basketball. and i just sat there. then had to go back. sad. =( nevermind. there is always a tomorrow ^_^v

i really really wanna have xBox 360 and ps3. sounds childish. but i guess that this is a part of my interest. its impossible for me to have it. fat chance if i can have one. im an extreme gamer. to be frank, i can get hooked up on game for 5 or 6 hours. serious! >.<>

okay, this is the end. im running out of brain juice. im lazy to think of more ideas. so i'll get back to you when i have the energy and ideas kie? sorry. i admit this post is lame. with limited vocabulary and major grammar mistakes. i have to pull of my socks in english!!

2006 has arrived

Lord, i am sad right now. this new year seemed so dull and meaningless. i feel so sad. after he told me about something, i replied him with a joyful smile, but deep down inside, i feel really seriously hurt. is it because of jealousy? i dont know. i thought that i have forgotten every single thing, and i am over with it. but this incident tells me that im wrong. im confused. the world around me seems so dark. they seem so ignorant towards me. is it because of what i have done? i cried just now. i tried to hold my tears. i feel so depressed. is it jealousy that is causing me to be like this?

it is so dull. i thought that i am over with it. but the truth is, no. i guess i should just stop thinking bout it. but i just cannot do it. i hate being fools. i am nobody's fool. some people think that they can climb over my head. but im actually being patient! it freaks the heck out of me. why cant those people just stop taking others as fools? it aint gonna do us any good! you are doing something which you enjoy a lot but you are actually hurting others - real bad.

im stuck in my own world. yea, it sounds like im some kind of odd person. whatever. i know i hate the word whatever but at times i use it when i am really irritated. this world is crazy. inflicted with lunatics. all around the world. sometimes these insane lunatics drive me up to the wall. they think they're the best. they're the most good looking person. they're the cleverest. so what?! they think that they can boast to me about their so-called kelebihan (sorry i dont know what is it called in english. too sleepy o.O) they are obnoxious spoilt brats!

people these days are being so materialistic. they judge someone on the outside, but not in the inside. what a sad case. it will be unfair for others. people who judge others by their outlook appearance are so pathetic and lame! cant they just grow up and be a little mature? please act your age, NOT YOUR shoe size. i know that i sound very garang but this is the truth. this is what i want to voice out.

after listening to music, i feel much better. i guess? okay, now to my next point. people always think that im very fierce cos i shout at people. and i raise my voice like a beast when i scold them. am i that scary like king kong? i only raise my voice when i am angry. yea yea, im like an aunty from a fish market.okay guys, i am heartfully sorry if i have done something that made you guys angry or hurt throughout the year of 2005. thank you for everything .

last day of 2005

today is the last day of the year 2005. the very next day is already the first day of the year 2006. so fast. i try to let things go. but it takes time. i have 2 person in my mind. i guess it is only infactuation and jealousy. not really liking or loving. well she is like always boasting about this and that. i get really pissed off.i mean really. cant she just keep it to herself? nevermind. today is the last day of the year 2005. i dont wanna ruin it =). hahaha. i sound so sarcastic. i realised that my english really sucks. seriously. my grammar is like 'boo-hoo-hoo'. my brother's english is like, whoa.... BOMBastic. i wish that my english is as good as him. maybe i should read more books. but im really fussy. if the books are uninteresting i'll dump it aside. besdies that, i dnt fancy reading. i mean i do, but not really. a little. i will work harder to achieve better results in every subject. =)

i pray that this coming year of 2006 will be full with happiness and joy.i pray that i'll grow stronger in Him. day by day. week by week. month by month. =)